Naru gets hit with a plate
by HarunoRin
Summary: Inspired by Yellowmoon27's "Chibi-chan". A pregnant Mai and a Naru trying to avoid injury. Hormones, words and plates are thrown everywhere! I like this. It's funny! SHOCK


**Inspired by the latest chapter of "Chibi chan" by Yellowmoon27. I WAS INSPIRED!!! despite looming deadlines!**

**Naru deals with a very hormonal Mai. even though she's only about one month pregnant, she's hell to live with... Dangerous too.**

**I own nothing. Not even the idea.**

**Rated T for language.**

* * *

"It's nice that Yasuhara found a nice girl like that." Mai sighed contentedly as her fiancée opened the car door to help her out of the car. Oliver nodded and smirked.

"She was surprised by the... warmth of you all." He chuckled darkly and linked arms with the brunette as they made their way to the apartment. "You're overwhelming."

Mai put a hand to her mouth and stopped dead in her tracks, glaring at Oliver tearfully. "H-How... could you be so mean to me?!" She sobbed, and Naru's eyes widened in slight horror.

Oh no... God, no... the hormones were back!

"I was joking... Mai..." He started, but Mai flung herself at him and beat her tiny fists against his chest, all the while wailing at how cold hearted he was and how could she be so stupid as to let a block of ice father her child? Taking hold of her wrists –gently- he brought his lips down on hers and almost sighed in relief as she leaned against him contentedly.

Good. That worked...

Last time she bit his tongue.

"Let's get inside. It's cold out here, and I don't want you getting sick."

"Okay." Mai grinned dizzily and allowed him to lead her inside their home. Flicking on the switch, Oliver glanced at the fridge.

Well stocked. Thank god.

He cast his eyes over the surfaces.

Nothing sharp, heavy or otherwise weapon-like.

He was always safety conscious. But this wasn't for his fiancée... Mai was a crazy little firecracker when hormones took control. She was emotional anyway, but now...

"Naruuu..."

"Yes, Mai?"

She opened the fridge. "There's nothing here."

Naru raised one eyebrow (In his typical narcissistic fashion) "It's packed full. Nothing more will fit in there."

Mai shook her head, glaring at the contents of the fridge like they were poisonous snakes. No, that's wrong, he decided, poisonous snakes would receive more favour from this hormonal, destructive force. "There's nothing I want." She stated, slamming the door shut.

Naru's insides twitched with annoyance. No one treated him like this! No one except Mai, of course, who did whatever the damn hell she liked even when she WASN'T carrying his spawn.

Spawn. Eurgh. What a word. It reminded him of curses and demons. Spawn.

"What do you want, then, I'll go and get it."

"You don't need to sound so _happy _about it." Mai muttered, and Naru rolled his eyes.

"I'm not happy, dearest, but I'll do it, since it's for you." He offered, hoping to divert the gale force that he knew was coming.

Mai glared. "You make me sound like a tyrant."

Naru tilted her chin up to look at him gently. "Whatever gave you that idea?" He said, and smiled.

Mai was _so _not in the mood. "You arrogant jackass!" She fumed. "You don't care about me at all!"

"What?" Naru blinked, and internally began to panic.

All the mini genii Naru's in his head were searching for a way out of this, frantically checking his mental inventory of special Mai-knowledge.

Unfortunately, knowing how she liked her eggs wouldn't work. Neither would her favourite colour, or the way she sat on the sofa with him while watching a film, all curled up and snuggly...

A smile emerged on his face, and that was most definitely the _wrong _way to pacify her.

"DON'T SMILE AT ME WHEN I'M UPSET! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU! YOU DON'T LOVE ME AT ALL!" Mai yelled, and Naru regained his senses.

"Of course I love you, Mai." He said quickly, "Don't be stupid."

That was wrong too.

Man he was on a roll or something tonight.

Her eyes teared up and she began to cry. Naru, slightly glad that at least she wasn't attacking him, embraced her gently.

"I mean, how could I not, sweetheart?" He soothed, and her sobs began to subside. "I love you, Mai. I'm so happy you agreed to marry me."

That had to work, right?

Naru's calculative mind smirked. He was a genius. Mai was calming down; he might get a whole hour's sleep tonight!

Deciding that a distraction would be best, he smiled at her and kissed her forehead. "What about Yasuhara's girlfriend, then? You liked her didn't you? She can do some of the manual labour on the next case, which will help you out, right?" Mai sniffled and nodded slowly. "She's sweet isn't she?" He pressed, and Mai smiled at the memory of the girl.

Really, something that had struck Naru was how alike the two were.

One of the mini-Naru in his head thought it would be a bright idea to point this out, despite the others, upon realising where this could go, screamed at him not to say it.

That little mini-Naru was persistent though...

"You two are quite alike you know. When the baby's due and you take some time off for your pregnancy, she can take over for a while right?"

Mai's sniffles stopped, and Naru didn't _quite _realise what those steeled brown eyes meant.

"She's pretty, too, don't you think?" Mai loved cuteness, which _had _to please her.

Mai growled. "What makes you think I'll take time off?"

"This will be your last case, of course." Naru stood back a little, confident that Mai was now going to be reasonable. "You can work one more month and then I want you to take it easy. You'll be useless to SPR while hormonal and pregnant."

Honest to god, that was meant to sound nice.

Under normal circumstances, Mai, who was accustomed to Naru's warped way of displaying his affection, would have realised.

However... She was pregnant and hormonal and very. Very pissed.

"SO WHILE I GET FAT AND UGLY TO GIVE BIRTH TO YOUR CHILD YOU GET ANOTHER CUTE ASSISTANT TO REPLACE ME?!" She picked up a plate. "YOU BASTARD! WHY DID I AGREE TO MARRY YOU? YOU JERK! I HATE YOU!"

The plate was thrown at Naru's head.

Lying on the floor, Oliver Davis reflected on the lessons learnt that day as his fiancée stormed out to find refuge at... Yasuhara's girlfriend's house.

When she got back home, he'd give her a lesson in proper manners, like not-inviting-yourself-to-stay-in-someone's-house-when-you-only-met-them-that-day.

Hopefully, she wouldn't treat him to another lesson in hormones and emotions. He'd had enough to last a lifetime. Who knew women didn't like you complimenting other women's looks? Bizarre.

But even a genius like Oliver Davis learns something new... if not every day, then at least once a month.

Oliver sighed. His head _hurt._

_

* * *

_**_Review! _And read Chibi-chan!!!**

**And review that too!!!**


End file.
